We went on vacation last month to visit our daughter in California. She lives just outside Los Angeles, and the weather is sunny and bright all year round. We did lots of sightseeing and had a lovely visit.

On the third day of the trip, my husband Ken and I were getting ready to go out for lunch when all of a sudden the apartment started shaking. I was surprised by the noise – my first thought was that a big truck was rumbling past or that there was a low flying helicopter – but the up and down shaking of the floor quickly registered with me. I still don’t know if the noise was from the ground or the building moving.

I yelled, “Earthquake!” Ken’s response was “Doorway! Doorway!”, and mine was, “Outside! Outside!” We ran outside and caught a glimpse of the swimming pool as we ran by – the water was sloshing from side to side. Car alarms and sirens were going off, and many neighbors joined us in front of the building. One of the neighbors called up to an elderly woman on the second floor to ask if she was OK – she was fine.

The earthquake only lasted 30 seconds or so, and we were far enough away from the epicenter - about 30 miles - that there wasn’t any significant damage in the immediate area. There were aftershocks, but we didn’t really feel them.

Since there has not been a significant earthquake in urban southern California since 1994, it took most people unawares and unprepared. The local news reviewed over and over again what people should do in the event of an earthquake, and standing in a doorway or running outside barefoot is not the best plan. They recommended “Drop, Cover, and Hold On!” – drop to the floor, cover your head, get under a sturdy table or desk and hold on. They recommended having an earthquake emergency kit on hand at home, in the car, and at work, including food and water for 3 days.

The need for emergency preparedness – either for a man made or natural disaster - is not unique to California and is just as important here in the Midwest where extreme weather - snow storms, floods, tornadoes – poses the most likely threat. And for those with special needs, such as people with disabilities or frail elders, preparation and survival can present special challenges.

Emergency readiness recommendations offered by the Administration on Aging for older adults and caregivers take a three-step approach – know the basics, have emergency supplies ready, and make a personal plan. There is good information including checklists on the website www.AgingInStride.org.

Basic information recommended includes knowing how to shut off residential gas and electricity, and making a plan about how to keep in touch with family, friends, and neighbors. The American Red Cross at www.redcross.org also has checklists, and advises there are six basics to stock at home: water, food, first aid supplies, clothing and bedding, tools and emergency supplies, and special items.

Personalize your own emergency plan by thinking through special needs. For instance, homebound people in Berrien County who receive home delivered meals and other in-home services can register with the Berrien County Emergency Management Department. And each year, folks living near the Cook Nuclear Plant with hearing, sight, or other disabilities are encouraged to send in a special needs card. In the event of an emergency, they’ll know where to find you.

Call the Area Agency on Aging’s Senior Info-Line at 800-654-2810 and we can send you more specific information about emergency preparedness.

I always wondered what an earthquake would feel like. Now I know. I’m just glad I live where “Drop, Cover, and Hold On!” isn’t part of my emergency plan.

There are so many things to learn as we grow up. As a child, I often misunderstood, or made my own assumptions about certain phrases I heard used in everyday conversation. I remember that sometimes when I asked my mom what day it was, she’d say, for instance, “It’s Monday, all day.” This lead me to believe that some days had multiple names, and I just hadn’t yet figured out the pattern -- like sometimes it was Tuesday in the morning, and Wednesday in the afternoon.

And then, of course, at church there are always childhood misunderstandings, like the hymn us kids all thought was about a bear named Gladly - Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear, rather than Gladly the Cross I’d Bear, or, the chorus of In the Garden that left us wondering who Andy was: “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me..” instead of “And He walks with me, And He talks with me..”.

In the medical realm, I had a great-aunt who was institutionalized because she was “senile”. Now I know she must have had some form of dementia, and back in the ‘50’s, it could be cause for admission to a mental institution. “Sugar” was the word I grew up knowing as the common term for diabetes - sometimes it was called “sugar diabetes”. I had an uncle with “sugar”, and my understanding then was that he was not allowed to have any sugar.

For young and old, diabetes is still a widely misunderstood medical condition, with an amazing number of people who are undiagnosed, especially among senior citizens. That’s why a number of national organizations, including the Area Agencies on Aging around the country, and CMS, the folks who administer Medicare, have teamed up to help people understand the importance of diabetes screening. We’re trying to find the 17 million Americans in Medicare with undiagnosed diabetes or pre-diabetes to let them know about free diabetes testing.

Medicare recipients over 65 with just one of these risk factors - high blood pressure or cholesterol,
obesity or overweight, family history of diabetes, or women with a history of diabetes during pregnancy or giving birth to a baby over 9 pounds – can be tested once a year for diabetes. There’s no co-payment or deductible required for a fasting plasma glucose test, or an oral glucose tolerance test ordered by a doctor, physician assistant, nurse practitioner, or clinical nurse specialist.

If tests show pre-diabetes, the same testing is covered twice a year, and in the meantime, lifestyle interventions – diet and moderate exercise – can reduce development of diabetes by 58%.

In 2005, fewer than 10% of Medicare beneficiaries were screened for diabetes. While it can’t be cured, diabetes is manageable, essential for minimizing other potential debilitating medical complications. That’s why is important that the next time you go to your doctor, ask about diabetes testing. You’re entitled to take the best care of yourself as you can.

For information about diabetes and pre-diabetes, log on or call:
American Diabetes Association
1-800-DIABETES
www.diabetes.org

“We were sitting outside on the patio of a restaurant when an elderly gentleman drove into the parking lot. We watched as he made a wide turn in an attempt to pull in to one of the spaces, but hit the side of the parked car in the next space. He backed up to try again, and when he pulled forward, hit the car again. Then he backed up and drove to the far side of the parking lot where there were no other cars parked.”

A colleague related this story recently. Stunned, they watched as the man came into the restaurant where he was greeted by a family who were waiting for him – she assumed it was a son and his family. She and her husband were the only ones who had witnessed the accident and were dumbstruck and baffled about what to do. It seemed clear that the driver did not intend to deal with the incident.

What would you do? They did the only thing they could do, and that was to make sure that the accident was reported. They told their server what they’d observed, asked to have the police called, and then told the police what had happened. They watched as the policeman approached the family kindly, observed the son put his arm around his dad as they talked, and empathized with the family as well as the owner of the other car.

This was an extreme event, and clearly the time had come for the son to have a serious talk with his father about no longer driving. It’s an emotional issue for families since losing the ability to drive – especially for men – is a traumatic event, representing a loss of independence, freedom and control. Perhaps by intervening sooner, this crisis could have been avoided.

Regardless of age, safe driving requires physical fitness, clear thinking, and seeing well. Statistically older drivers are safe drivers and have fewer accidents than younger drivers, especially when compared to those aged 16-24 who are more likely to speed, drink and drive, or not wear their seatbelts.

There are normal age related changes that can affect driving such as decreased hearing, eyesight, and reflexes. Many older drivers - especially over the age of 75 – begin to recognize age related limitations and travel fewer miles, avoiding nighttime, bad weather, highway, or rush hour driving.

Older drivers can evaluate their own driving skills and there are resources on the internet, through insurance companies, or AARP. Some feature self-assessments, and refresher classes offered such as “55 Alive” by AARP. By attending a class, drivers can get an insurance discount.

Everyone ages differently and that means there is no way to set an age limit for driving. The National Institute on Aging suggests that older drivers consider questions like, Do others drivers often honk at me? Have I had any accidents? Do I get lost, even on roads I know? Do cars or people seem to appear out of nowhere? Has anyone said anything about my driving? Am I driving less because I’m not as sure about my driving as I used to be?, it’s time to modify driving routines.

There are also many excellent resources for family members concerned about and older driver. One booklet, “We Need to Talk” is a family conversation guide prepared by Hartford Financial with funding from national aging organizations. It gives facts about older drivers, provides tips on conversation openers, and helps adult children and elder parents develop and agree upon changes.

The booklet recommends bringing others into the conversation, and reports research showing who may be the best choice. For instance, people will listen to their doctor and less to their spouses about driving ability. Women are more receptive to giving up driving than are men, and prefer to talk to their adult daughters about it, while men prefer adult sons. No one wants to hear the news from the police.

The guide suggests beginning with a mobility plan - identifying and agreeing on travel needs, considering the distance and time of day. When it’s clear that driving is out of the question, the plan can help mom or dad identify other options to get around - taxis, senior centers, public transportation, friends or family rides, or having someone else to drive the car. Call the Area Agency on Aging’s Senior Info-Line at 800-645-2810 for a copy of the booklet, as well as other books, brochures, and DVD’s about safe driving.

On Friday, the Area Agency on Aging and the Herald-Palladium will host its 12th annual Senior Expo at the Mendel Center at Lake Michigan College.

We’re celebrating Older American’s Month. Every year, the President signs an official proclamation to recognize the contributions, accomplishments and wisdom of the nation’s elders. We agree.

The theme this time around is Working Together for Strong, Healthy, and Supportive Communities. That speaks perfectly to the opportunities we have to create better long-term and health care services and reinforce healthier societies for all ages. Working together, communities can improve older adults’ overall quality of life.

At the Senior Expo, you’ll find entertainment, prizes, games, booths with more than 60 local businesses represented, health screenings in Lakeland’s Health Pavilion, a baking contest, lunch, snacks, document shredding. You’ll learn a lot about community services, and have lots of fun. It’s a huge undertaking for everyone involved, and a joy to present. It’s free, and if you haven’t been before, be sure to check it out. Health screenings are from 9-2, the exhibit hall will open at 10. Plan to stay until 3.

We’re especially excited about Caregiver Central – a new feature. If you’re helping someone else who needs care, you’re a caregiver. Caregivers are wives, husbands, sons, daughters, friends and neighbors, and may live with the person who needs care, or across the country. About half of all caregivers are employed and trying to juggle busy schedules.

The Area Agency on Aging recognizes the contributions of caregivers and want people who care for someone else to know how much they are appreciated. Watch for the newspaper insert – the guide for the Senior Expo – in this Wednesday’s Herald-Palladium. It will contain lots of special articles with practical information for caregivers.

Then on Friday at the Senior Expo, be sure to stop by Caregiver Central. We’ve set aside a separate classroom just for caregivers – a more focused, quieter place to sit down, relax, pick up brochures and resource lists, talk with other caregivers or to one of our professional experts. You can find out about housing, home safety, home care, respite care, finances, adult day services, or home delivered meals – information you need to make your job easier. Borrow a book or DVD from our lending library – we’re stocking it just for the event. And you may just win a prize or drawing.

Too many caregivers are selfless, and yet deal with a great deal of stress that can lead to burnout. The results can be devastating. We know how important it is for caregivers to learn to take care of their own emotional, spiritual, physical, and social needs. At 11 a.m. and again at 2 p.m. plan to come to a 45 minute workshop all about managing stress. And DVD’s featuring a variety of caregiving topics will be previewed throughout the day. Check the schedule in the newspaper guide.

Even if you don’t have time to enjoy all the rest of the Senior Expo - the entertainment, health screenings, or booths - plan to come to Caregiver Central. We’ll be waiting for you.

Years ago, I went to New Orleans. I strolled along the river, and took in Bourbon Street in the French Quarter with music everywhere. I ate seafood gumbo for the first time. I rode the Saint Charles trolley to the end of the line through the Garden District. I had café au lait and beignets at Café du Monde, shopped in the French Market, and went to the aquarium. Beads were tossed from a passing parade. I saw the Saint Louis Cathedral and enjoyed the street performers in Jackson Square. It was a short trip, but I’m glad I had a chance to get a feel for the city pre-Katrina – it was a treat.

Another first for me while in New Orleans was a trip to the casino on Canal Street. At the urging of my friends, I played a slot machine, lost two dollars, and was done. I don’t enjoy gambling. In fact, I remember back in the 60’s when the New York state lottery first began, my grandpa surreptitiously bought a ticket. We feared he would win – the conservative community values would not have allowed him to collect ill-gotten gains, and his reputation would be ruined not only at church, but throughout the whole city. After all, he’d be a known gambler.

Times have changed. Not only are there state lotteries, but other daily opportunities to wager - casinos, sporting events, raffles, charity events, poker, Keno, bingo, racetracks, and office pools. The social stigma once associated with gambling is long gone, and betting is now generally viewed as just another form of recreational entertainment, whether in person, on-line, and even on TV.

Though statistics show that the percent of people for whom gambling becomes a problem by interfering with their everyday life and goals has not significantly increased in recent years, other studies establish an increase in problem gambling in direct relationship to the availability of gambling opportunities.

Experts tell us that for the one in twenty people who have difficulty controlling their gambling, they’re either looking for the thrill of the action, or for escape. With life changes, more time, and the losses that many senior citizens encounter – retirement, health, income, or the loss of friends or a spouse – older folks can be vulnerable to use the excitement of gambling as that escape. And yet, seniors may be less likely to seek help than are younger adults.

The Michigan Department of Community Health has been reaching out educate the public about conscious gambling. They’re reminding recreational gamblers to do so responsibly – set a dollar limit and stick to it. Set a time limit and stick to it. And, expect to lose when gambling. That way, you won’t be disappointed and try to make up for your losses.

They also say that if you bet more than you can afford to lose, you’ve got a problem. They’ve set up a toll free number that can help problem gamblers and families learn about prevention, assessment, and treatment. The Michigan Problem Gambling Helpline, 1-800-270-7117 is available 24/7, and it’s confidential. Warning signs of a compulsion include being preoccupied with gambling, being secretive, unaccounted for blocks of time, mood swings based on wins or losses, lying about the extent of involvement, going without basic needs such as food or medicine, or getting behind on regular bills.

I started out strong and committed on January 1. I went for a long walks, and even dusted off the Nordic Track and logged 15 minutes a day as a start for a few days back then. Then something came up – I got home late, I was too tired, it was too cold or snowy, and there’s always tomorrow. Now it’s the beginning of a new week, and I’m ready to start over again.

I am resolved to exercise more this year, and to eat better – low fat, low carbs, more fresh fruit and vegetables, and no candy, chips, desserts, or donuts (my weaknesses). Something always seems to come up to foil my good intentions.

I know I need to get in more exercise on a regular basis, and on Monday morning when I opened my desk drawer, there it was, staring me in the face. That pedometer. A few years ago, I got it with the goal of walking 10,000 steps a day. There was a national campaign at the time to promote how just using the pedometer to gauge the number of strides taken on a daily basis could increase overall health. Looking for opportunities to increase the number of steps taken every day can really add up.

“I’m sure the battery is dead after all this time,” I thought as I flipped open the cover on the pedometer. Nope. It’s working just fine. I slipped it onto my waistband, and since I’d need a base number, just decided to see how close to 10,000 steps a normal day. On the first day, I logged 3,505 – a third of the way there.

The next day, I parked further from the building at work and did some shopping on my lunch hour, racking up 7,854 steps. On day three, the counts went way down again, but I felt challenged by the little device, seeing how far I could go.

Walking is a simple way to exercise for people of all ages. It’s proven health benefits include managing weight, controlling blood pressure, decreasing heart attack and stroke risk, boosting HDL’s – the good cholesterol – stress relief, increasing balance and bone density, and the list goes on and on .

Walking is free - no memberships or special clothes except for a good pair of sturdy shoes. Just bundle up and head out the door. Even when it’s been too cold or icy, I’ve gone to the mall on my lunch hour for a few laps. I know that just 30 minutes a day for at least 5 days a week will improve overall health.

And there are ways to add a challenge for walking, such as a pedometer. On a quick Internet search, prices range from $5 up to about $25, depending on added features. My pedometer simply records steps, but there are multi-function gadgets with distance in miles, calories, radios, pens, flashlights, and talking pedometers.

An average person has a stride of about 2.5 feet. That means that 2,000 steps is about a mile, and working up to 10,000 steps a day means about 5 miles. If I keep it up every day, in a month’s time, I can walk 155 miles, and over the course of year, I could rack up 1,825 miles. That’s like going from here to Phoenix, or all the way to Boston and back.

My uncle just moved permanently into a care community, leaving the house that he and my aunt built 40 years ago. My aunt died a few years ago, and after he fell and broke his hip, he’s had a harder time getting around, knows he’s more forgetful than he used to be, and wanted to be closer to his son and grandkids.

His new home is a lovely apartment on the fourth floor that he furnished and decorated with his own things, but says he misses sitting at the kitchen table in the morning watching the birds at the feeders in his back yard. Now he goes to the dining room on the first floor for his meals. He doesn’t have to worry about getting groceries and cooking – he never was comfortable in the kitchen – and has other group activities he selectively attends. My cousin takes him out to eat once in awhile, too, and over to the house for dinner at least once a week.

The facility he moved to has multiple levels of care available, and regardless of his future care needs, he’ll be able to stay. If he needs more help, extra care can be purchased, or he can move to another unit with more care. If he needs a nursing home, that’s also right there – he won’t have to move from the community. It’s expensive, and he knows he’s fortunate to be able to afford it – that’s a luxury.

My cousin said that they looked around for the right place that would best fit my uncle’s current and future needs. And that’s what he has in common with many other elderly and disabled folks who are looking for housing options for the years ahead.

Making a wise choice means making informed decisions. It starts with looking at what kind of setting feels comfortable – staying in your own home or apartment, or living in a group setting. Location is another consideration. Being close to family and friends, church, community organizations, shopping, and even the climate are big factors.

The availability of health care was one of the important reasons my uncle chose his new place. And it was important for him to know that he won’t have to move again. The cost, of course, was probably the biggest consideration.

The type of community my uncle chose is called a continuing care retirement community – one of many types of housing options. Terms for the different types of housing can be confusing. For instance, there’s not a standard definition for ‘assisted living’. The term usually is applied to residential facilities that provide individual units or apartments with private bath, and services that include some supervision, housekeeping, meals, and group activities, and almost always paid for privately.

Most people prefer and expect to stay in their own homes as they age. Key advantages are staying in the same neighborhood close to family and friends, keeping the house as an asset, and being able to hold onto your own personal space and privacy. Should needs change, looking at ongoing home maintenance or modifications and costs is essential. If in-home care is needed down the road like housekeeping or personal care, finding out about services, the costs, and how to pay for care needs over time needs to be investigated. Some programs, like MI Choice, can coordinate care and are paid for by Medicaid for folks who are eligible. Most private long term care insurance don’t pay for ongoing in-home care, and Medicare coverage is limited and for specific situations.

Senior housing apartments offer independent living with limited services such as group activities or transportation, and may be an attractive choice for folks who want to be free of the financial and physical responsibilities of home ownership. Some apartment complexes offer subsidized rates with eligibility requirements.

Adult foster care homes are licensed and help people with basic needs like bathing, dressing, and eating. The cost of care can be offset by Supplemental Social Security Income. And nursing homes serve residents who need medical services, meals, social, rehab, and nursing care. The costs may be covered by Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance, or private pay and depends on the type of care that’s needed.

The Area Agency on Aging has brochures, books, and lists available to help families make decisions about housing needs. Just call the Senior Info-Line at 800-654-2810 to talk to a Community Information Manager.

I’ve always enjoyed watching a good movie. And there’s nothing better than popping in a good DVD on a weekend evening, sitting back and being entertained.

Movies featuring mature actors are few and far between, though over the years there have been notable exceptions. Full-length movies with age-related themes include now classics such as Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, On Golden Pond, Cocoon, and more recently, About Schmidt, and Calendar Girls. And there are others.

Last year while attending a conference, I went to a workshop featuring films about growing older. Independent filmmakers led a panel discussion while reviewing film clips. The conference also had a film festival where new releases could be previewed – mostly documentaries and instructional films. Though not widely distributed or commercial hits, notable films celebrating the aging process with inspiration are available.

The Boomer Century, hosted by noted gerontologist and psychologist Dr. Ken Dychtwalt, looks to the baby boomers’ past for clues to how this generation of 78 million Americans are shaping the future. Maybe you saw this one on PBS – it features interviews with renowned boomers, academics and authors including Oliver Stone, Rob Reiner, Julian Bond, Erica Jong, Eve Ensler, Lester Thurow, and Alvin Toffler.

To You Sweetheart, Aloha – Can life begin at 94? Ukulele pioneer Bill Tapia is a sharp dresser, a naughty jokester, with an irresistible charm. After losing his wife, Bill gave up on a music career until he finds a new soul mate and rediscovers both his musical zeal and youthful spirit.

Let’s Face It – Have you ever thought about a facelift? This movie is a touching and honest glimpse into the self-explorations of several women in their 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. As they face the natural reality of sags and bags, lines and wrinkles, they reflect on the impact physical changes of aging have on their bodies, attitudes, and the way they are perceived by society as they grow older.

Big Mama – In this academy award winning documentary about Viola Dees, age 89, known as ‘Big Mama’, you’ll meet her 12 year old grandson who she is raising. The film follows the family over an 18-month period, her health issues, and legal challenges. “When, exactly, are you too old to love your own grandchild?” she asks.

51 Birch Street – Just released this past summer, filmmaker Doug Block documents his relationship with his parents and especially with his father after his mother’s death. It asks the question, “How much about your parents do you really want to know?” It’s riveting.

The Open Road – What’s happening with baby boomers as they face retirement? Some have chosen to explore the world, and are taking off. This documentary looks at obstacles and opportunities ahead along with exploring social, economic, and cultural issues.

These movies, and many others, are available for loan through the Area Agency on Aging’s Resource Center, and you can call the Senior Info-Line at 1-800-654-2810 for more information.

There are dozens of other notable films about age related topics – educational, entertaining, and enlightening – with more and more outlets where they can be found like on the internet or through Netflix. And let me know your favorites – email me with the subject “Films” at diannecarlson@areaagencyonaging.org.

A few days ago, I logged onto the internet. The story of the day from the AP was titled, “Seniors Balk at Ban on Free Donuts.”

It seems that at a senior center out east, there was picketing. The picture with the article showed elders with signs saying, “We’re Old Enough to Choose”, and “Give Us Our Just Desserts.” All the hubbub was over the fact that the senior center quit handing out free bread, cakes, and pastries, citing the practice as setting a poor nutritional precedent. The seniors didn’t like not being consulted about the change, or being told what they should and shouldn’t eat. One protester said, “I’m 86, not 8.” The article goes on to talk about the overall poor nutritional status of Americans, including seniors.

Reading on, the article said that the free donuts were donated – it didn’t say by whom – and that some of the food arrived moldy after being stored overnight in the trunks of volunteers’ cars. Ah ha! Food safety - now that’s a different issue, and the one those seniors should be concerned about. Until I read up about it, I didn’t realize that mold can carry bacteria that can make you sick.

Seniors can be more sensitive to foodbourne illnesses because normal aging includes changes in how well our systems can fight off sickness.

We all need reminders once in a while about food safety – everything from kitchen cleanliness, hand washing, how to thaw frozen foods, safe cooking temperatures, refrigeration, and expiration dates.
How many times have you taken food home from a restaurant? The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says that without proper temperature control – either heat or cold – the kinds of germs that can make you sick can grow fast, even within 20 minutes. Food brought home from a restaurant or leftovers on the stove need to get into the refrigerator as soon as possible. If that’s more than 2 hours, throw it out. When you know you’ll probably be bringing a doggy bag home, take a cooler with cold packs for the car, and just put the food on ice until you get home.

And then there are those date labels on everything now. Just a way to sell more food? If an item posts an expiration date, believe it and get rid of it. It’s not worth the risk of getting sick. Some things – like milk – have a “sell by” date. That’s the date the store uses to display the item. In the case of milk, it’s probably still good for another week. Look for the expiration date.

With primary funding through the Area Agency on Aging, Senior Nutrition Services (SNS) serve an average of 250 hot lunchtime meals 5 days a week for senior citizens at 14 dining sites in Berrien, Cass, and Van Buren counties. They also deliver hot meals to folks in their homes who can’t get out. It’s a big job, and SNS does a great job to insure that the hot food stays hot and the cold food stays cold until its lunchtime. Questions come up once in awhile from people who want to take food home from the dining site. The answer has to be no – the rules just don’t allow that, and now I know why. I hope our friends out east do, too. It’s a matter of food safety.

The FDA also offers these tips to make your kitchen a safe place for handling food:

I surveyed my friends. Of the 10 people I asked, only 2 live in the same area as their parents. That’s common. In my family, one of my grown daughters lives in Minnesota, and the other one is in California. And I live 400 miles from my hometown. Sometimes the kids move away – like my girls - and in other families, it’s the parents who relocate after retirement, maybe to a warmer climate.

When there are miles between family members, what happens when mom or dad needs help because of an illness or injury? It’s called long-distance caregiving, and the Family Caregivers Alliance says that there are up to 7 million people in the U.S. caring for an older relative who live more than an hour away.

A medical emergency clearly requires a trip. But when a family member needs ongoing assistance, where do you start?

I ran across a booklet published by the National Institute on Aging – they’re part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services out in Bethesda, Maryland. “So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers” is one of the best resources I’ve ever run across and gives a ton of practical, down to earth advice for long-distance caregivers.

It starts by defining long-distance caregiving, and goes on to answer questions like “What can I really do from far away? I don’t feel comfortable just jumping in.” “How can my family decide who does what? My brother lives closest to our grandmother, but he’s uncomfortable coordinating her health care.”

Other questions are “How can I keep up with my mom’s medical care? I don’t know where to start.” “How on earth can my parents afford everything they need? They saved money for retirement, but the cost of their health care is really high.” and “How can I help my folks decide if it’s time for them to move? I don’t think they can stay in their own home much longer. Should I suggest that they move to my home? Move to assisted living? I’m at a loss.”

The brochure describe ways to make sure you don’t get overwhelmed, and where and how to find out about services in the community where your relative lives. For example, one nation-wide resource is the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or www.eldercare.gov – services vary from community to community, and they can help you sort it through.

And another question/answer that caught my eye is “What is a geriatric care manager and how can I find one? A friend of mine thought that having a professional ‘on the scene’ to help my dad would take some of the pressure off me.” In our community, the Area Agency on Aging provides this service. We call it Care Connections, and families can engage the services of a nurse to evaluate and assess care needs or to make sure that services are coordinated. We think of it as custom care - it’s like hiring a “professional relative”, and an incredibly valuable service for both local or long distance caregivers. Just call 800-442-2803 or 982-7746 and ask for Faith, the Area Agency on Aging’s Care Consultant.

Should you wish to receive a copy of “So Far Away”, you can download and print it, or order your own free of charge in English or Spanish at www.niapublications.org, then click on ‘Caregiving’ – you’ll see it. It takes a few weeks to be mailed out. You can also call the Area Agency on Aging’s Senior Info-Line at 800-654-2810, and we’ll send you a copy.

Awhile back, I attended the funeral of a friend’s father. He’d been sick for months, and after running back and forth between his house and hers, Sharon moved him into her home with the help of hospice services. Here, he was surrounded by the daily hubbub of grandkids and family life, pets, and schedules. He liked the activity, and she was more at ease, feeling more in control of the household, the needs of her immediate family, and her dad’s care.

Still, caregiving took its toll. Her dad’s condition and care needs had taken precedence over former activities – attending church, going to the gym, playing tennis, watching her kid’s sporting events, and her book club. I talked with her a couple of times during those last weeks, and knew that her kids and husband jumped right in to help where they could, and were enormously understanding and supportive. Her siblings took care of other needs – checking the mail, paying bills, and keeping his lawn mowed.

When the final time came, Sharon’s dad died peacefully surrounded by his loved ones. And, the whole family knew they did everything they could to make this time of life transition meaningful for their dad and themselves.

We met for lunch last week. I wanted to see how she was doing, and what was new with her family. We talked in philosophical terms about the hurt she feels for her kids having to deal with the loss of their grandpa, and wishing she knew how to spare them the pain.

We talked about the complicated emotional roller coaster she’s on. Most surprising to her was how much she misses being her dad’s caregiver - she had expected to feel a sense of relief from the day to day chores of making special meals, extra cleaning and laundry, medications, and personal care she’d been providing. She thought she’d be glad to get back to the activities and schedule she’d given up, but now fells out of the loop and disconnected. She expected to look forward to spending more time with her husband and kids, but feels like she’s just going through the motions. And she’s tired.

When Sharon lost her father, she also lost an important role in her life – her role as a caregiver. Her teenagers are more and more independent and busy with their own lives, and she acknowledges that caring for her dad was a natural fit for her nurturing spirit. She was glad to do it, and thankful for the extra time she had with her dad.

Several years ago I was working with a caregiver support group. We had a few members of the group who even after having lost their spouses still came to the meetings. They wanted to continue to share their experiences – to help others, and because they needed a safe place to talk about their ongoing feelings. That need didn’t end for them for awhile after the death of their loved one.

Sharon will continue to grieve and feel lost for awhile, and that’s okay. She’s easing back into activities little by little, and finding new interests. She’s reorganizing and painting her kitchen, and is back to her voracious reading and crossword puzzles. She’s finding a new “normal”. And when she needs to talk, I’ll be there to listen.

While staying at a resort hotel in Orlando a few years back, my husband and I were asked if we wanted free tickets to Disney World. Free? Of course, we said. Well, is all we had to do was to show up the next morning at 8:00 a.m., enjoy a free breakfast, and find out about this beautiful property – then get free tickets. We went for it.

I’ve heard about these offers. It was just what I expected. The breakfast was OK, the sales pitch was well delivered, and the property was lovely. Of course, by buying a condo that day, we could have gotten a really good deal. I like Florida well enough – we just couldn’t afford nor wanted to buy vacation property there, or anywhere else. Much to the feigned disbelief of our excellent, high-pressure salesman, we passed up the offer repeatedly, got our tickets and went on our way to the Magic Kingdom. We spent 2 hours for the “free” tickets.

There are lots of “free” travel deals out there. They come from all directions - mail, emails, faxes, phone calls, TV, internet pop-ups – offering discounts on hotel rooms, car rentals, tickets, or cruises. Of course, there are many reputable travel agencies and businesses out there with real offers. But, for every legitimate operator, there are twice as many scammers ready to separate you from your hard-earned money and in exchange give you much less than promised. Its big business – Americans lose more than $12 billion a year to travel scams.

The Better Business Bureau and the Federal Trade Commission have identified several of the most common travel scams.

Travel clubs promise deep discounts on trips, and can cost thousands of dollars to join. They may not be illegal, but usually don’t live up to their claims. Instead of the expected five star accommodations, members can find themselves in remote modest accommodations with no recourse, and paying more than if they had booked the trip on their own. There may also be hidden charges that aren’t disclosed, like $100 handling fees to make or change reservations.

Another scheme is to ask “winners” to send money - just a deposit to redeem certificates or vouchers for a free vacation. Don’t do it. Once you give out your credit card number, the bad guys have what they want, and your money is gone. Even if you get the voucher, it won’t be worth what you paid for it.

The message is clear to consumers – only buy travel and vacation packages from reputable companies. Check with the Better Business Bureau, and ask your friends and neighbors. Shop locally with established businesses. Don’t respond to unsolicited offers – those faxes, emails, mail, or phone calls. Confirm all arrangements by getting it all in writing including the name, address, and telephone numbers of the airlines, ticket agent, hotels, or rental car company. If you can’t get that from the seller before you pay up, look out.

Don’t be pressured into making a quick decision – if the deal is real, it’ll be there tomorrow. And it’s generally not a good idea to book travel for more than a year in advance. Phony companies may not be there a year from now.

If you’ve been taken on a travel deal, contact the Attorney General’s Consumer Protection Division office in Lansing. The web site is at www.michigan.gov.

The old adage holds for travel bargains – if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

For the past eleven years, the Area Agency on Aging and the Herald-Palladium have worked together to sponsor the Senior Expo, an event for senior citizens to come together for entertainment and learn about health, services, and businesses in the community. Over the years, the event has been tweaked and changed, with welcome additions such as the Lakeland’s Health Pavilion, and the support of Lake Michigan College.

This year’s event, held earlier this month as part of the national celebration, designation, and recognition of the month of May as Older American’s Month, was another huge success, and well attended. We try to keep track of attendance, but know that not everyone who attends registers when they get there. We know that we handed out all of the 1,200 pre-packaged bags that were prepared by the Herald-Palladium.

One of the favorite features of the Senior Expo seems to be all the generous hand outs that vendors have available to promote their businesses – there was ice cream, cookies, pop corn, and candy. I saw others handing out magnifying bookmarks, magazines, discount coupons, jar openers, pens, post it notes, magnets, tote bags, pill boxes, mugs, letter openers, shoe horns, tape measures, yard sticks – all kinds of handy gizmos and gadgets, besides the many door prizes of gift certificates, gift baskets, and hanging plants.

Another feature of the Expo is an interactive game. This year attendees could find famous quotes about aging posted throughout the exhibit hall and mark the location on an entry form. It was a tough assignment – there were 40 quotes to locate. Once they found all 40, the entry forms were turned in for a prize drawing. Participants were also asked to add their favorite quote about aging.

Our local authors were overwhelmingly positive in their observations about aging, and offered:

“In old age (and all ages), happiness is a choice you make by your attitude.”

I expected to see more quotes about physical changes of age, but just had this one, filled with irony:

“It should only happen to people who are physically able to handle it – like teenagers.”

“Life is like a roll of paper – the nearer you get to the end, the faster it goes!”

Special thanks to all those who attended and participated in this year’s Senior Expo – seniors, volunteers, sponsors, vendors and their staff, entertainers. And I’d like to add my personal thanks to the planning committee – Lynne Christiano and Nancy Bishop from the Herald-Palladium, Linda Wenholdt from Lakeland; Judy Lammers, Larry Smith, and Christine Vanlandingham from the Area Agency on Aging, and Ann Vonk from the Mendel Center. We truly live in a community that cares about its senior citizens.

In the mid 1960’s, my family moved from New York to a small town in rural southern Indiana. Things were different there. We had a party line on a telephone with no dial. You just picked up the phone and asked the operator to connect you with the person you wanted to talk to – by name. In the school building built in the early 1900’s, the rows of connected wooden desks each had a hole in the upper right hand corner that formerly held an ink well.

Despite the lack of some more modern conveniences we were accustomed to in the East, when I got to high school and took typing, it was on an electric typewriter. Technology was catching up. Now it’s called “keyboarding,” and I’ve often thought that of all the classes I took in high school, that one semester of typing was probably the single most useful skill I could have acquired. It’s served me well – first on a typewriter and then in using computer keyboard.

Many kinds of technology sneak their way into our everyday lives, and in just a short period of time become devices we can’t live without. In decades past, pocket calculators, microwaves, VCR’s, DVD’s, CD’s, ATM’s, push button and cell phones, and remote controls come to mind. They’re easy to use and useful for everyone.

A stereotypic view of older folks is that they fear new technology. Studies reveal findings to the contrary. When it comes to internet use of computers alone, around 31% of people over the age of 65 are online on a regular basis, as are 70% of adults in the age range of 50 to 64 – that’s 141 million people. Most often reported use consists of sending and receiving email, and in finding information – looking up maps, weather, and news; researching health topics, hobbies, or products and services, and surfing just for fun.

Beyond providing leisure and educational pastime opportunities, new gizmos and gadgets are being developed now to enhance and improve the lives of people as they age. In the area of health, telemedicine applications - like interactive video and monitoring devices – promise to extend more medical services into homes. Personal emergency response systems and automated medicine dispensers are becoming common place now. Maybe robots are next.

Retirement may become a thing of the past for boomers, with more telecommuting offering freedom of location and schedules flexibility.

People with special needs are seeing advances to help make everyday activities easier. Voice activated and computer enhanced equipment – like video reminders, phones, wheelchairs, centrally computerized home control, and even cars – are being developed, and will need to be ready to respond to the next generation’s demand for adaptations. That’s exciting.

For me, the complexity, size, and design of new devices dictate my interest. I don’t think I’m alone. My fellow boomers and I are asking: Is it easy to use? Is it useful? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Can I see the buttons and displays easily? Is it practical? Does it save me time?

And, how much is too much? Even now, with emails, faxes, digital TV, DVD’s, mp3 players, the internet, and PDA’s, it’s hard to keep up with information and gadget overload. Don’t get me wrong – I’m excited to see what the world of technology holds for the future. It’s just that sometimes I want to sit down to watch TV and be able to turn it on with only one push of one button on one remote control.

At the Senior Expo a few years ago, a gentleman stopped by the Area Agency on Aging booth. He asked about getting a health record-keeping booklet. The portable guide provides one place to record health information, and we had the some available the year before. We told him we didn’t have any with us that year – and were summarily reprimanded. He told us that the resource was invaluable, and that everyone should carry one. He needed another one for his neighbor.

The pocket planner is a single portable record of emergency contacts, insurance details, medications, physicians’ names, appointment results, immunizations, allergies, and more. It’s a simple little booklet in a plastic sleeve that’s easily carried in a pocket or purse, and updated at the pharmacy or doctor’s office. And, in the case of an emergency, it could be life saving.

I was impressed. This guy was obviously an involved partner with his health care providers, and taking an active role.

The Ad Council is running a series of public service announcements with that exact message in mind. The campaign, sponsored by the Department of Health and Human Services Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), is called “Questions are the Answer: Get More Involved with Your Health Care.” And they’ve launched a nifty new web site (www.ahrq.gov/QuestionsAreTheAnswer/) providing even more information for consumers.

One of the main focuses of the campaign stresses patient safety. Through active participation, consumers are more informed and have answers for making informed decisions about tests, surgery, treatments, diagnoses, and medications. The web site provides lists of questions to ask in each of these areas, and has a link for creating a list of personalized questions to get the answers about individual medical situations.

The five steps promoted for safer health care in the public service announcements are 1. Asking questions if you have doubts or concerns. 2. Keep and bring a list of all medicines you take to your doctor. 3. Get the results of any tests or procedures. 4. Talk to your doctor about which hospital is best for your health needs. 5. Make sure you understand what will happen if you need surgery.

The overall message is simple – being an active member of the health care team and asking the right questions reduces medical errors. A Patient Fact Sheet can be printed from the web site with 20 tips to help prevent medical errors. There are tips about talking to doctors, nurses, and pharmacists, and things to ask about the hospital, nursing home, or assisted living facility. You’ll be familiar with many of the tips and it’s a good refresher course.

On the web site you can also preview the public service announcement, featuring a hospital full of dancing and singing doctors, nurses, and patients, with the musical refrain, “Questions are the answer.” It’s upbeat, catchy, and will grab your attention – watch for it on TV.

By the way, if you would like to receive a health guide, just call the Senior Info-Line at 1-800-654-2810, and tell one of our Community Information Managers to send you one. Ever since that encounter at the Senior Expo, the AAA has kept a good supply on hand.

And, mark your calendars for Friday, May 18, for the 2007 Senior Expo, “Older Americans: Making Choices for a Healthier Future” at the Mendel Center. Watch the newspaper next month for more information.

There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.
Rosalynn Carter

She knows what she’s talking about. Our former first lady, Rosalynn Carter, helped care for her father and grandfather at home. The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving at Georgia Southwestern State University, her alma mater, was established in her honor. The Institute is highly regarded, and along with corporate sponsors, provides education, training, and research.

For those who are in the midst of providing care for a spouse, parent, other family member, or friend, Mrs. Carter would be the first one to tell you that to be the best caregiver you can be means having the knowledge and skills to do your job. Your well being, and the well being of the person you care for depends on it.

The staff of the Area Agency on Agency agrees with Mrs. Carter, too. That’s why we’ve put together a plan to support the good work caregivers in our community are providing every day.

The Family Caregiver Education series are classes where caregivers get together with a trained professional to find out more about what services they could use to make their work easier, how to put balance in their lives, and reduce stress. It’s encouraging to get to know other caregivers and to exchange ideas and household tips.

If you recognize that you may be in the caregiving role sometime in the future, think about going to the classes – it’s a good way to begin to plan for your own or family long-term care needs. If you’re not involved in caregiving yourself, you know someone who is. Offer to pick up your friend, and go together – it might just be the extra little boost they need right now.

Other topics you’ll find out more about include communication skills – helpful in dealing with other family members, employers, coworkers, or health care providers. You’ll learn more about setting realistic daily goals for yourself, and how to choose other services that will serve you and your family best. You’ll discover how to carve out time for your own activities, and how to take care of your personal needs. By attending, you’ll receive a Caregiver Manual with more than 100 pages of helpful information and resources, and you’re guaranteed to have a good time.

Classes are scheduled throughout Berrien, Cass, and Van Buren counties, and groups have already begun to meet, though it’s not too late to join. Participants are encouraged to attend all of the classes in each location to maximize the experience. Here are the dates and locations:

Just call Julie at 269-313-4002 or the Senior Info-Line, 800-654-2810 to sign up for the class series – you can also get any of your questions answered. This is a public service of the Area Agency on Aging free of charge, and donations are accepted.

One evening during the holidays we pulled out the slide projector. There on the wall from decades ago were pictures of Christmas, graduations, and birthday parties of my husband’s immediate and extended family. The evening flew by as we laughed and recalled memories and old stories about the family.

Prominent in the slides were grandparents and elder aunts and uncles who were very much part of the clan. Since most of that generation was immigrants it was natural for families to live together or in close proximity. This was both for economic and cultural comfort.

Because many of the older generation lived with or near their adult children, caregiving also was the norm. And, since the wives of the family did not work outside of the home, they became responsible for taking care of their parents or in-laws as well as their own husband and kids.

While older folks are more independent today, though there are still an estimated 44 million Americans who are the primary caregiver for disabled family members. It still takes a heavy toll, and the amount of time available for the caregiver to take care of themselves decreases as care increases. It’s still hard work both physically and emotionally.

Caregivers report that their own health can be compromised because of their heavy workload. They may not get enough rest, tackle more than they should – like lifting. They may not take the time to go to the doctor for their own health care needs, or lack adequate health insurance because of their time out of the workforce. Caregivers can also experience feelings of helplessness and isolation as their responsibilities increase, and show higher levels of depression. An increase in caregiving responsibilities affects quality of life.

I recently ran across a list of Caregiver’s New Year Resolutions.* Here are some of the suggestions:

I grew up in the 1950's. There was a different dress code then for girls and women. For instance, my grandma always wore a dress, hat and gloves when she went shopping downton or to church. Pants were out of the question for her or her peers.

Perhaps for women, things were in transition - my mom wore pants while doing housework, but not to the store, and she didn't always wear a hat or gloves shoping or to church.

My girlfriends and I wore dresses to school and shurch. In fact, it wasn't until my senior year in high school that we were allowed to wear pants on just a few designated days during the year.

As a youngster, on special occasions like Easter, all of us girls wore bonnets, white gloves, white anklets, and black paten leather shoes. The ensemble was completed with a purse. As I recall, there wasn't mucn to put in the purse except for the other major assessory - a handkerchief.

I had my very own collection of aa variety of hankies. I had cotten print handkerchiefs with horses or kikttens on them that I understood were for everyday use. I also had more special linen or silk white handkies with lace to be used for special occasions, like Easger Suday or to take to a wedding. One time I received a beautifully packaged handkerchief from a pen pal. The lacy cloth formed the elaborate skirt for a picture of a pretty lady with a big hat and parasol. To me, it was much too exquisite to use, and it's still in the box.

A handkerchief's uses are obvious - mopping a perspiring brow, catching a sneeze, or wiping away a tear. As a child, I don't remember ever actually having a need for or using a handkerchief - if I had a cold, I'd stuff my purse or pockets with tissues and use those. I didn't need a handkerchief to dab away a tear in those days like I do now.

Many of my handkerchiefs were gifts from my grandma. She tatted - that's a methof dor making lace, one tiny stitch at a time, using a shuttle and thread. She also crocheted to embellish the edges of storebought handkerchiefs, and decorated others with embroidery.

I carried one of my grandma's more elaborately edged linen handkerchiefs when I got married, tucked into my bridal bouquet. My daughter used the same one at her wedding a few years ago - something borrowed. I gave one of my grandma's creations to my girlfriend Judi when her mon died, and one to Bar when her son got married.

Using a handkerchief was one custom form a former era that was carried on by my mom. She usually had a handkerchief tucked into a sleeve or pocket.

After my mom died several years ago, I helpd my dad sort throgh her personal elonging. In her jewelry drawer was a pink satin quilted box where she kept her handkerchiefs. There were several dozen hankies, some pretty ones with cutwork, applique or scalloped edges, some plain, and others brand new and never used. I'm sure she could have told mne where each one came from, and I wish I knew those stories.

I broght my mom's handerchiefs home with me and keep them in the same box in my top fresser drawer. I wondered what to do with all of them, and thought about having a quilt, pillow, or pretty baby blanket made. Then one day, the best idea occurred to me - I could use them.

Clothing like dress gloves, hats, and bonnets for the most part are no longer part of the wardrobe for most women - and I'm glad about that. But I do carry a handkerchief with me every day now, no just on special occasions. It's practical and reminds me of the past.

Many years ago I was subpoenaed by the court as an expert witness – that distinction was based on my job experience. The case involved an estate settlement. It seems that an elderly aunt “hired” her niece to live in and take care of her in her failing health in exchange for a share of the estate, though apparently, the rest of the family didn’t have that understanding.

In listening to the testimony, I learned that the niece had given up her job to live with her aunt, and had spent years care giving. The rest of the family thought that she should have been grateful for her room and board during those years. I was asked to talk about the costs and complexities of hiring help at home, and what a reasonable hourly rate of pay was to cook, clean, bath, clean house, shop – all the usual household and personal care duties.

I was able to explain how much it costs to hire a professional caregiver, and the intricacies of making that work. I learned later that the case had been settled, and that the niece was compensated for the work she had done.

When we get calls at the Area Agency on Agency from people looking for someone to help them or their loved one at home, we’re able to give them a list of home heath agencies to contact, and can tell them what’s involved in hiring a helper on their own.

The advantages in using a home care agency are that the staff is trained and supervised. The agency screens and employs workers, can provide back up, handles the payroll and paperwork, and assumes liability for the care provided.

Other families prefer to hire independent workers – it can be less expensive, and some families like to have more input about the work of their employee, or because they want to match specific desires of the client more closely. Still, hiring an independent home care worker carries with it a considerable set of responsibilities.

By hiring their own caregiver, families assume the responsibility for screening, interviewing, training, providing a job description, and supervision – the normal responsibilities of any employer. They must comply with state and federal labor, health and safety laws. Forms and payroll deductions for Social Security, unemployment, and income taxes need to be attended to. Are there any other employee benefits the employer is willing to provide? A back-up plan for times of illness and vacations needs to be in place.

During the interview and screening process, the employer needs to find out about the worker’s experience in providing home care services, and why they want the job. They should ask for at least three references - and make sure the references are thoroughly checked out. A criminal background check needs to be conducted – an on-line service provides a report for $10.00. Log onto the Michigan State Police link on the www.michigan.gov website.

Other up front considerations for families seeking to become an employer for help in the home include scheduling enough time to supervise the worker. The worker needs to know what’s needed and expected, what the daily routine is, and a list of things to be done. The employer needs to be readily available to make sure tasks are being handled.

Whether families go through an agency or hire someone on their own, it takes time and organization to make sure the match is right for the person being cared for.

These days, our schedules are often too full. It’s not only that we’re busy with one activity, but to feel really productive, we have to do more than one thing at the same time.

How often do you find yourself folding laundry, sorting mail, or paying bills while watching the news? Or reading emails while you’re on the phone? Do you talk on your cell phone while driving, feeling like unless you’re doing something more than just driving, it’s time wasted? That’s called “multi-tasking”, and has become a highly prized skill in today’s busy world.

We can overdose on multi-tasking, and research shows that instead of gaining time, in reality, time can be lost while switching over and over again between activities. It depends on the complexity and familiarity of the activity. One reports states that while multi-tasking may seem more efficient on the surface, it may actually take more time in the end. How do you slow down?

I’ve been listening to audio books on CD’s in the car. Talk about multi-tasking - it’s the perfect way to fill in driving time, feel productive, relax, and be entertained or learn something new all at once. I like to listen to books on long car trips and even the 20 minute commute back and forth to work.

I check audio books out at the library, or stop by and rent one from the Cracker Barrel. And there are audio books clubs and rental services you can find on the internet.

While I enjoy reading, I usually look for a book to listen to that I probably would not take the time to read. My selections are usually non-fiction – self help books, biographies, or current topics.

One of my latest selections was The World is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century by Thomas L. Friedman. If you haven’t read the book, there’s a lot about how the digital revolution has connected everything globally, and how that has had an effect on politics, the economy, and much more. I didn’t understand everything, but I gained new insights and an appreciation for the world-wide impact of the internet and technology. I probably would not have made it through reading the book.

This week I listened to Big Russ and Me: Father and Son – Lessons of Life by Tim Russert. He’s had a very interesting career, and I didn’t know he is originally from western New York State as I am. I have a new friend. And, I laughed and wept over Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog by John Grogran. I recommend the book for any animal lover.

If you see me just sitting in the car in the parking lot, chances are that I’m engrossed in my latest selection.

August 20, 2006 'Seniors: Safe, Sound and Secure' is title of Sept. 14 workshop

Did you know that most of the scams and illegal activities that happen over the phone are directed at senior citizens? The National Crime Prevention Council estimates that 56 to 80 percent of calls trying to cheat people out of money take aim at older people, and that each year almost 25 million seniors become victims. Those crimes happen right at home, and in too many cases people have lost their life savings.

Telemarketing scams is just one of the many topics that will be discussed at an upcoming event designed to help seniors learn more about safety, and how to protect their personal information and property.

“Seniors: Safe, Sound, and Secure” is the title of the workshop to be held on Thursday, September 14, from 9:00 a.m. to noon at the Stevensville United Methodist Church, 5006 Ridge Road in Stevensville. It’s sponsored by Triad – a coalition of organizations who work with senior citizens to fight crime. By working together with the Berrien County Sheriff’s department, Triad applied for and received a grant from the Michigan Sheriff’s Association to put on the local event.

By attending, you’ll have the chance to find out more about identity theft from the Michigan State Police. They’ll tell you what to do to make sure your personal information is safe, and that no one can get to your credit cards or bank accounts.

Do you have a community watch program in your neighborhood? That’s when neighbors work to safeguard each other’s homes and reduce the risk of crime in their community. For the workshop, Bob Humphrey, community volunteer with the Lincoln Township Police Department will be on hand to tell you how to start a program right in your own area. Neighborhood watch programs help average citizens work with their local police to recognize and report suspicious activity, and to actively prevent crime through home security. You’ll want to learn more about starting a program on your block if you don’t already have one.

If you have questions for an attorney about topics like trusts, wills, powers of attorney and other issues to protect assets, a session will be held just for you.

Kathy Flores, community information manager with the Area Agency on Aging will be on hand to let people know about housing options. She gets so many questions every day about what the difference is between assisted living, nursing homes, homes for the aged, or adult foster care homes, that you can find out from her about what kind of care is available in each type of setting, costs, governing regulations, and more. Bring your questions.

We’ve all heard stories about people who aren’t able to throw anything away – it’s known as hoarding. It’s hard to understand why a person saves things that seem trivial, and especially when it gets out of control to the point where the house is knee deep in clutter. An expert is lined up to talk about hoarding and to help audience members understand more about it.

And, Karen Klug from the Berrien County Sheriff’s Department’s crime prevention unit will offer safe driving tips for seniors.

Besides all of these sessions, community providers will be on hand to share information about their services. There will be door prizes, free smoke detectors, and demonstrations from ambulance services, and the Bridgman Fire Department.

The Triad committee asks that you register for the workshop by calling your local senior center, or call the Berrien County Sheriff’s department at 983-7141, ext. 7221. The whole event is free of charge, and even includes a continental breakfast. Call today and sign up to attend.

Here’s a quote from Arlene, a 53 year old daughter:
“Mom and Dad have been failing lately, and I didn’t know how to bring up my concerns to them. I was over for dinner and decided to just start talking about my fears. They’ve accepted the idea of a housekeeper to do a few things, but any talk about their finances is still out of the question. I’m going to ask them to talk to their banker.”

Whether the issue is finances, driving, home safety, health concerns, living arrangements, or ongoing care, it’s not always easy for adult children like Arlene to discuss difficult topics with her parents. Family relationships are complicated. It’s not uncommon for aging parents to resist their children’s involvement in planning for the future, or for adult children to be uncomfortable asking for private information.

Arlene’s first approach is good. She recognized that she needed to begin the conversation. There’s nothing more important for the adult child and parents than to have an ongoing dialogue about values and wishes, what kind of help is needed now or may be needed in the future, as well as the legal and financial practicalities involved.

There are ways for adult children to open the dialogue. Arlene framed her discussion by talking about her own fears, and asking for her parent’s help. And, by using “I” messages – “I’m concerned that you won’t have enough money left” rather than “you” – “You’re being stubborn” – the reaction she gets will less likely be taken as critical or judgmental.

She could ask her parents for their advice – maybe something like, “I’ve been thinking about getting my will together. What do you suggest?”

Another way to open a conversation is to discuss someone else’s circumstances. Perhaps the death or illness of a friend or family member can be used as a prompt to talk about care and financial issues.

And then it’s important to listen. Listen not only to what’s being said, but to read the tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, posture, or eye contact – they can send a far different message than the words, and providing a deeper understanding of what the real concerns may be.

Another alternative for Arlene is to bring in a professional advisor. In this case, she plans to have their banker talk with her parents. As hard as it may be to accept, a minister, social worker, doctor, or nurse may command more authority and trust with the aging parent than the adult child.

Though she doesn’t need to know everything about her parent’s personal affairs, this daughter should learn where documents are kept, that they are current, contact information for attorneys and doctors, or bank account numbers and insurance policy numbers. Gathering information into one place, like creating one master binder or file could be a project to work on together. Copies of key documents can be kept elsewhere. Lists that can be used to help get things organized are available on-line. The Area Agency on Aging’s library also has useful resources. Call the Senior Info-Line at 800-654-2810 for more information.

It won’t be any easier for adult children to ask questions about their aging parent’s finances, medical conditions, care concerns, or legal issues in the future than it is now.

Last month, the Area Agency on Aging along with the aging network of 655 local Area Agencies on Aging across the country, observed Older Americans Month. The theme for the annual event this year was Choices for Independence.

This theme serves as a reminder that the decisions we all make in daily life can directly impact the quality of life and our subsequent ability to live independently as long as possible. Lifestyle choices such as eating a nutritious diet, participating in activities to prevent disease – like exercising - and maintaining active participation in activities will contribute to successful aging.

We all look forward to enjoying our later years by being active and in good health. Beyond what can be done individually to maintain independence as we age, whole communities throughout the country are increasingly recognizing their role in supporting elders. Many are putting together plans to assure that programs and services are in place so that they can provide residents with a good place to grow old.

Whether it’s called Livable Communities, Communities for a Lifetime, Aging in Place, Elder Friendly, Senior Cities, or Senior Friendly, the goals are similar – to improve the livability of the area for older persons. It’s good for seniors, and good for everyone.

The movement started in Canada when Calgary’s Elder Friendly Communities project developed an extensive assessment for gauging public planning in preparation for the baby boom, and to keep people from migrating away from the city. The state of Ohio singled out a few cities and took it a step further by looking at home life, mobility, and community.

In Michigan, Grand Rapids used a survey tool based on research that identifies three things for successful aging: low risk of disease, high mental and physical function, and active engagement, and then applied those principles to see how well their city measures up. And Battle Creek’s efforts focused on community planning, housing, transportation, public safety, education/life-long learning, workforce development, and retirement planning.

Through these efforts, the state’s assessment of what makes an Elder Friendly Community includes walkability, supportive services, access to health care, safety, housing transportation, commerce, enrichment, and inclusiveness. By going through the evaluation, communities can become certified as Elder Friendly.

A program launched in Oregon uses trained volunteers to perform undercover evaluations of businesses when requested, and to provide feedback about the company’s telephone and customer service, building layout and access. Those that pass are issued an “Elder Friendly” window decal, and the rights to advertise their distinction using the Elder Friendly logo.

AARP’s web site hosts a quiz for people to use to look at how well their community measures up – what they’ve dubbed as “Livable Communities.” Their assessment of what goes into making a self-defined community – a township or county, village or town, or neighborhood – looks at the quality of life issues for people over 50.

Are there adequate opportunities for older persons to socialize? This could be parks, recreation centers, senior centers, libraries, and other places where residents interact with one another. Or how availability of public events and places for concerts or theater? What about volunteer opportunities? Public transportation? Is the community safe, “walkable”, and handicapped accessible, with well-designed sidewalks? Affordable housing options also contribute to making a community desirable for older folks.

To assure that basic needs of older adults are met, social and civic engagement is promoted, and physical or mental health and well being is optimized, individuals and communities need to provide choices for independence. How does your community measure up?

It’s a busy time of the year. There are graduations and weddings, and all the community festivals and activities. With the events season now in full swing, there are a few more that the Area Agency on Aging encourages you to add to your calendar. These are activities that will not only be entertaining, but are also designed to be educational and inspiring.

Senior Expo
First of all, plan to attend the Senior Expo. For the past 10 years, the Area Agency on Aging and The Herald-Palladium have co-sponsored the Senior Expo and are thrilled to again be partnering in this venture. Plan to join us on Friday, May 19, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. to celebrate not only our 10th annual event, but also the month of May being designated by presidential proclamation as Older Americans Month.

“Choices for Independence” is this year’s Expo theme for the event held in the Grand Upton Hall of the Mendel Center at Lake Michigan College. In addition to the booths and exhibitors on hand to tell you about goods and services available in the community, there is a full lineup of entertainment planned.

The Health Pavilion, featuring health screenings presented by many departments from Lakeland Regional Health Systems, will take place from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. That’s always popular.
You can bring your documents and papers to be shredded for free. You can enter to win door prizes and ride the trolley. And we also have Lake Michigan College to thank for its contributions in making the event the success it will be.

Look for the special section in The Herald-Palladium about the Senior Expo on Wednesday.
It will give you all the details about the Expo as well as intriguing articles and useful information.

Van Buren County Senior Day
Moving on to June, a community coalition of agencies serving seniors will present the Van Buren County Senior Day from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Wednesday, June 7, at the Van Buren County Conference Center in Lawrence. Senior Day is an all-day health and lifestyle fair and will feature exhibitors highlighting community services. In addition, workshops will give you lots of practical and useful information about scams, home safety, emergency preparedness, legal issues, low vision, depression and elder abuse. For aspiring thespians, there’s even an opportunity to participate in the Senior Improv Theatre.

Caregivers’ Open House
And, here’s the third event you’ll want to put on your calendar – an open house for people who are taking care of loved ones. The Caregivers’ Open House will be held from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and 4 to 7 p.m. Tuesday, June 27. With that schedule, even if you work during the day, you can come in the evening to learn more about what’s available to help you do your job of caregiving even better.

The open house will be at First United Methodist Church, 3003 Leco Court, St. Joseph. A special presentation, “Healthy Caregivers Make for Healthy Care Giving,” will be at 10::30 a.m and 6 p.m. The Aging Service Network, an association of businesses and agencies serving the elderly, is working hard to make this a fun and helpful event.

All three of these events are free of charge, and open to the public. No registration is needed – we just want to see you there. For more information about these special events, call the Area Agency on Aging’s Senor Info-Line at (800) 654 2810.

Celebrate yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Learn to use community resources. Manage your time.

For the four out of 10 women between the ages of 45 and 55 who are squeezed between the demands of raising kids and at the same time taking care of an older loved one, it’s more than good advice – it’s a lifeline.

In celebration of Older Americans Month and Mother’s Day in May, the Area Agency on Aging will be honoring Moms in the Middle.

Here’s what we know about Moms in the Middle. Women raising kids and taking care of their parents, in-laws, or both, are confident and comfortable in their role as family caregivers. They are likely to be married and educated. Surveys tell us further that half of the Moms in the Middle feel guilty about not doing more for both generations they care for. They report that their dual role at times creates stress between them and their spouses. They report that they’ve revised their vacation and work schedules to accommodate others, and worry about their family, finances and retirement. At the same time, moms enjoy their families and identify family as the most important source of strength in their lives.

In caring for older loved ones, moms provide a variety of levels of care. They report checking in on a regular basis – even daily – through phone calls and social visits. As needs increase, more time is spent shopping, housekeeping, providing transportation for doctor visits and coordinating medical issues, processing paperwork and bills, and helping with a host of other day-to-day chores.

This same time of life can be a period of change for families. It’s the time in life when women may begin to experience losses or illness in the family, or personal illness. Children are leaving home – or moving back – or are getting married or divorced. Marriages are being examined,
careers may change, and plans for the future and retirement begin to dawn on the horizon. These changes make their role as a confident family caregiver even more remarkable.

And, over the past few decades, the shift in starting families later in life, coupled with the increase in life expectancy for members of the older generation, squarely define these moms as the “sandwich generation.” Dads, sons and daughters: Here’s your chance to let the special mom in your life who is juggling the care of kids and parents along with all of her other responsibilities know how much she is appreciated. Just submit a 200 250 word description (about half a page) highlighting the admirable work she does every day to the Area Agency on Aging. Submit descriptions no later than May 5 by e-mail to moms@areaagencyonaging.org, by fax at 983 4028, or by mail to Moms in the Middle, 2900 Lakeview Ave., St. Joseph MI, 49085.
One mom will be selected from the nominations received and will receive a gift basket valued at $ 500 and filled with goods and services to pamper herself. The winner will be announced at noon May 19 during the Senior Expo at the Mendel Center, Lake Michigan College.

Along the way, the Area Agency on Aging intends to let Moms in the Middle know more about and use local resources that are available to help make their lives a bit easier, and to take care of themselves. The original Moms in the Middle public awareness campaign was launched a few years back by the Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116 or www.eldercare.gov), a nationwide public service that provides connections to local resources and information about caregiver supports.

In a previous column, the Area Agency on Aging asked caregivers - family and friends who are taking care of a loved one - for input about their experiences so that we can plan future services. We wanted to hear more from people who know first hand what it's like to be responsible for the day to day care of someone, how that impacts family life, and to use that information to plan for the future.

This was not a scientific study, but just a way to get more input from caregivers about the issues they face in Southwest Michigan. While we're still collecting the information you sent in, I thought readers would be interested in learning a little bit about what we've heard from you so far.

Some of the questions asked confirmed what we hear from caregivers on a daily basis. One of these questions was about the types of care they provide for their loved one. The question had multiple choices, and was, "What types of care do you provide for your loved one?" The range of options checked including housekeeping chores, personal care, shopping, and transportation. Many people are providing heavy duty caregiving in managing all of the daily activities - shopping, cooking, cleaning, managing medications, writing checks - a full array of help.

The lengths of time people are providing services ranged from less than a year up to 23 years. Most who responded (88%) have been caregiving from between one and ten years. The rest were between 14 and 23 years. Several people wrote that they even care for more than one person - usually adult children caring for both mom and dad, or maybe a mother and mother-in-law. That's dedication.

Another stunning response was to the question, "On average, how many hours per week do you have contact with the people you serve?" Thirty one percent said that it was a full time job. And I learned something: There are 168 hours in a week. That's how some responded. Others wrote "24/7" and 16% reported from 20 all the way up to 168 hours per week.

Most of those responding said they were taking care of a spouse - we didn't ask for people to indicate whether that is a husband or wife. I suspect most of these caregivers are women. About one third said they take care of a parent, and 10% are caring for a friend.

There are many places people use to learn about services. Most people said they talk to their doctor, the senior center, or the Area Agency on Aging when they want to find out more information about providing care. Some said they don't know what to do. Many (40%) said they wanted one place to call, and wanted to find out more about support groups, how to choose a nursing home, and how to pay for services.

When asked reasons why they don't use community services that are out there, more people than expected said they don't know where to go, or that they can't afford to buy services.

I was interested to see what people identified as the most positive part of their job as a caregiver, and I wasn't disappointed. About one third said that they enjoyed helping their loved one, and felt a sense of accomplishment. At the same time, people want to know more about dealing with caregiver stress (21%), legal and financial issues (15%), and how to take better care of themselves (11%).

More caregivers than I thought said they often feel overwhelmed - we'll see what additional community support systems need to be in place. Many say they want someone to stay with their loved one so that they can take a break - we'll encourage caregivers to have someone to stay with their family, and to check out adult day services. A solid number said they already use adult day services or respite care so they can take time out.

Over the past several years, the state of Michigan has been looking at ways to improve the publicly funded long-term care system available to elderly and disabled persons.

Current public policy puts Michigan near the bottom of the list nationally for offering choices to individuals and their families. Michigan ranks 39th out of the 50 states in its support of home based options for people who need ongoing care. More public dollars are used to support expensive institutional care than less expensive home care. Many programs that have been set up are under-funded. They operate separately without opportunities for coordination. Families looking for services are confused about where to go for information and to sign up, and need quality options and more choice.

To look at the problem, Governor Granholm put together a task force. The task force issued a report with far reaching goals. There is energy for change, and many of the recommendations are moving ahead.

One of the ideas the state will be testing is to establish a neutral source of information and assistance similar to the Area Agency on Aging's Senior Info-Line (800-654-2810) where consumers and their families can find out about all of the long-term care programs that are available. By making one phone call, people could learn about the best mix of services and supports to suit their needs whether it's home care, nursing home, or hospice, for example.

The plan is to provide an array of home and community based options in addition to nursing home options. Once established, this one-stop resource would be available to anyone needing this kind of help. We hope the state will select our area as one of the test sites.

It's not unusual for families to find themselves needing this kind of aid and advice. Estimates are that one in four households are involved in caregiving - that is, providing unpaid help to a relative or friend like assistance with health, personal, or household chores. Sometimes it happens suddenly because of a health crisis, and in other situations, the caregiving role progresses over time as needs increase for mom or dad, a spouse, or other loved one.

One research paper reports that the average caregiver is a 46 year old woman who is married and employed outside the home, and that caregivers are most likely to first talk to their friends, relatives, and neighbors for advice. About one forth of caregivers have arranged for services from local organizations or government agencies for a relative or friend they are caring for. Many (49%) report they talk with healthcare professionals about their loved one, and 45% have read brochures, articles, or books about caregiving.

The Area Agency on Aging wants to learn more about caregivers' experiences in our community. We're moving along with the state as systems are being evaluated and reformed. We want caregivers to have a say in the plans, and to see how we compare to the "average" so we can plan for what will work best here.

We're circulating a Caregiver Survey, and you can help us. If you are currently a caregiver or have been a caregiver for an elderly or disabled loved one, we want to hear from you. You can get a survey form to fill out and send in - call 983-0177. We'll pay the postage. You can take a look at the survey on our website at www.areaagencyonaging.org. Email your comments about caregiving to r4aaaia@qtm.net. And our fax number is 269-983-4028. It's all confidential, and the information won't be used for anything other than for our planning process.

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Region IV Area Agency on Aging
2900 Lakeview Avenue
St. Joseph, Michigan 49085

Phone: 1-800-442-2803
Senior Info Line: 1-800-654-2810
r4aaaia@qtm.net

Serving Berrien, Cass and Van Buren Counties

Dianne Carlson's Prior Columns