August 31,2008       Don't let distance keep you from your grandchildren           

My three year-old grandson ran into the kitchen. “Mom, come here! Grandma’s in there!”  Grandma, who lives 2,039 miles away, had suddenly appeared out of no-where!  It didn’t seem to matter that I was rectangular, flat and on a computer screen. Through a tiny web camera I was indeed in his living room, magically talking with my grandson and hearing all about what he ate for dinner.

When five of my children moved to California and one to New York City, I resigned myself to being one of many parents whose grown children have moved far away. Not only do I miss being with my children – I now miss being a part of the daily lives of two grandchildren. According to the Grandparent Information Center at the AARP Foundation, I am far from alone; 45 percent of grandparents live over 200 miles away from their grandchildren.

One of my solutions to this new state in life was to buy all my kids webcams. A webcam is a small camera, relatively inexpensive and easy to use, that attaches to a computer and transmits live images over the Internet through special free software. Through this amazing technology, I’ve been able to see my granddaughter’s beginning attempts at crawling and watch my grandson running around giggling in the sprinkler.  I can talk with my daughter and her friend while they watch me cook and then take them for a walk through my garden. I’ve attended costume parties, backyard picnics and watched my grandson open his latest Grandma Box that had just arrived in the mail. The webcam lets me be part of all those small, everyday things that are the sweetest – the things I miss the most! 

 In between searching for cheap plane tickets, I’ve been collecting ideas for staying close to my grandchildren across the miles. Some require technology and some are just old-fashioned ways of keeping in touch. Here are just a few:

• Read stories, sing a lullaby or tell a funny family story to your grandchildren by making DVDs or audio tapes.  Learn how to podcast a long-distance bedtime story! The website grandparents.com has non-technical instructions for producing a podcast in addition to hundreds of other ideas on all sorts of grandparent-related topics.

• If you have a computer, play Internet games together like Jeopardy, checkers and card games.

• Buy two of the same book and mail one to your grandchild. Make a bedtime date to read it together on the phone.

• There could never be anything as exciting as getting a letter or package in the mail! Tuck inside a finger puppet, a colorful band-aid, ice cream money or a photo of you.

• Send a Grandma Love box to have ready when your grandchild gets sick. Put in a can of chicken soup, a puzzle, a colorful box of tissue, a stuffed animal, a book, etc.

• Play Hide and Seek from a distance. Send a box of treats and notes, ask the parent to hide them and tell you where they are. Give your grandchild clues over the phone, in a letter or using the webcam.

Long-distance grandparenting is clearly a growing phenomenon. But grandparents are needed more than ever in our increasingly mobile world.  Psychologist Dr. Lillian Carson, author of The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference, reminds us that grandparents listen differently than parents, offer stability in a constantly changing world, provide children with a sense of the past and the important understanding that they’re a part of a family with members near and far.

Grandparents can even be flat and rectangular - and we sometimes appear like magic!

Camellia's prior columns